Steve with his wife Dawn
Steve’s story:
“My wife Dawn was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2012, just four months before our wedding. Dawn’s mother Rachelle, who I never knew, had passed away a few years previously from the same disease. I’m proudly taking on the Full Moon (26.2 miles) at The MoonWalk London 2026 on behalf of both these wonderful ladies.
From the moment I met my wife, she was always very open about her mum’s breast cancer and I’d always known about it.
We talked a lot about Rachelle – it was a natural thing to do, because I met so many other members of my wife’s family. Rachelle was only 55 when she died.
After her diagnosis Rachelle also tested positive for the altered BRCA gene, which meant that carriers are more likely to develop breast cancer. My wife Dawn knew this meant her own chances of developing breast cancer were probably increased but hadn’t yet been tested for the BRCA gene herself.
Dawn was only 39 when she discovered a lump in her breast, in February 2012.
Our little boy was almost two years old and our wedding was planned for June that year, just four months later. At first, Dawn was told that the lump was probably just a cyst. Whilst she was hanging on to that piece of positive news, I already sensed that it was probably worse than that.
I decided that as much as possible, I would turn off the emotion. I’m a very emotional person – and I knew that both of us couldn’t be emotional! One of us had to be more analytical and making sure we understood exactly what the next steps were. When Dawn was told that she did in fact have breast cancer, not surprisingly she wasn’t able to take in anything which was being said. I knew that I needed to make notes and ask lots of things, so that I could answer her questions later, once she’d had the chance to process the news. It was a hell of a hit for Dawn, after losing her mum.
Dawn was so incredibly strong going through all the treatment and surgery – I am absolutely in awe of her.
She had two different types of chemotherapy – her doctors actually switched the order around, giving her the stronger one second, rather than first, which is more usual – so that our wedding could go ahead with Dawn still having her own hair. After a very short honeymoon, she then had the stronger chemo, followed by a mastectomy and radiotherapy. She then took the hormone therapy Tamoxifen for ten years, to help prevent the breast cancer coming back. It was also confirmed that Dawn is a carrier of the altered BRCA gene, just like her mum. Dawn came off the Tamoxifen a couple of years ago and touch wood all is good and she’s very healthy. As a family, we feel so lucky to have come through this.
Breast cancer is understandably seen as a women’s illness. But obviously many women who are diagnosed have men in their lives – including husbands and partners.
A breast cancer diagnosis for a loved one is one of the loneliest places a man can ever find himself. You need to be so strong for your partner. I couldn’t crumble in front of her, because she needed to know she could let things out if she needed. We couldn’t both crumble. So, I made a point of never crying in front of her. If I was in a room on my own, I let myself cry – and there were a lot of tears – but never in front of Dawn.I needed to be the strong, supportive person and to be both Mum and Dad for our little boy for about 18 months, as Dawn was in and out of hospital with all the treatment and numerous unexpected complications. Although I accept that I helped Dawn in some ways, I always think of her as the strong one, both mentally and physically. She just wouldn’t let the breast cancer beat her. And here we both are, 13 years later, blessed to be living a healthy life and our not so little boy is now doing his GCSE’s!
Obviously, everyone deals with things differently. However, my advice to any other man whose wife or partner is going through breast cancer is to have at least one other person to rely on, with whom you can be totally open with about your feelings. For men, that’s not something which comes naturally and which they need to work at. Women talk – men often don’t! I felt very powerless at times – I just wanted to be able to do more for Dawn. If someone has a cold, or minor illness, you can get help fetch them whatever they need to feel a little better, but with something like breast cancer, it’s an entirely different ball game. It can be horrendous watching the person you love go through so much and not being able to do very much to ease their pain.
Dawn actually took part in The MoonWalk London herself many years ago – back in 2005, in honour of her mum.
I recently saw a poster for The MoonWalk London 2026 and thought – I’m going to put myself forward for that! If there is any person who knows they can walk 26.2 miles and has a very good reason for doing it, it’s me. I love walking, so why not walk to raise money for such an incredible cause. By signing up, I also want to encourage any other men who have been in a similar position to me, to sign up too, if they can.
Dawn’s cap, bra and medal from The MoonWalk London 2005
Breast cancer has affected my wife and our whole family hugely and as things stand, it’s not a disease which is about to go away. Although research into breast cancer has come on so much, it will still keep raising its head, until science can totally get the better of it – another reason for taking part in The MoonWalk. Although I’m walking it on my own, I’ve heard from so many people about the wonderful support I’ll get along the route and I can’t wait!”
Thank you for sharing your story Steve and we look forward to seeing you at The MoonWalk London 2026!